


You Are My Home

by goingthroughemotions



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Dean Talks About Feelings, Dean is a Softie, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mostly Fluff, Mutual Pining, Season/Series 12, set sometime during season 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-11 03:44:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15306774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goingthroughemotions/pseuds/goingthroughemotions
Summary: When Cas turns up at the bunker after disappearing again without a trace, Dean decides to confront him about it. Things don't go the way he expects.





	You Are My Home

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever and english is not my native language, so don't hate me please. Anywayyy, this is heavily inspired by a dream I had the other night. Don't be fooled, it's pretty much crap. I'm sorry. But, hey! Thank you if you're reading this!

“Really? You come here after weeks and say ‘Hello’? Are you serious?” Dean shouted, storming to his room and leaving behind a bewildered Sam and a mortified Castiel. After everything they had been through together he couldn’t understand why on Earth Cas would think he meant nothing to him. Not a call, not a text, not even a smoke signal to let them now he was still alive, and as the days had passed, Dean had become more and more worried.

Maybe Cas didn’t care for Dean at all, didn’t care if he longed for him, if he was hurt by his absence. But that wasn’t possible, Cas had sacrificed so much for him… everything, actually. That couldn’t be the reason.

Another thought crossed Dean’s mind. Maybe he thought he didn’t deserve to be loved, to have a family caring for him. _You don’t think you deserve to be saved_ , a voice from the past echoed in his mind, bringing along memories of that first encounter in a barn. He wasn’t going to let Cas go anymore, he decided. After Cas rebelled to Heaven and left his home for Dean, that’s the least he could do. Cas was part of their little dysfunctional family, and Dean couldn’t let him think otherwise. A knock on the door startled him from his thoughts.

“Come in”, he said, trying to even out the sadness in his voice. The moment Cas met his eyes he was surprised and confused to see that Dean was not angry anymore, he never really had been.

“I believe I owe you an apology,” Cas chuckled softly, sitting next to Dean on the bed and quickly averting his eyes, “I didn’t realize you would be so upset and I am truly sorry. Now I know, you were worried about my wellbeing, I should have called you.” His eyes travelled from his hands, clasped in his lap, to Dean’s face, and then stilled, staring through him as Cas took a deep breath.

“I just… had not considered it the other way.” Cas met Dean’s eyes and then hung his head, realizing the implications of his words.

“Yeah, what if it were _me_ , missing for days, weeks without a call, what would you think? Please tell me, Cas, what would you do about it?” Dean remarked angrily. Why couldn’t Cas understand that they cared for him, _he_ cared for him.

“Enlighten me! How would you feel?” Dean gritted through his teeth. He rose from the bed and started walking back and forth, hands in his hair, trying to organize his thoughts.

“I’m sorry, Dean, but I don’t think it would be the same!” Cas dryly replied. He looked red with anger, or maybe it was something else entirely?

He instantly realized his mistake, what he had just let slip, “I… should not have said that, it was out of line. I’m so sorry, Dean, you don’t have to say anything.” He truly regretted saying it, implying that there was a difference between what he felt for Dean and what he showed. He messed up everything, every moment they shared together and every second he could have savored in the future, now gone. He sacrificed his home, his life, more than once for this human, only to have it all fall down to nothing because of feelings he couldn’t keep in check, feelings he should not even have in the first place.

“I will go now…” He felt his heart crushing him, heavy and bleeding in his chest. Angels don’t have feelings, but he had always been different. Maybe God had made him feel, because He knew that one day Castiel would fall in love with the righteous man, that he would leave everything else behind. He was probably part of God’s plan only to help Dean Winchester, he was just a means to an end. There will be nothing for him on Earth, he had made up his mind about that a long time ago. A time when he wasn't in love with Dean, a time when he followed and obeyed to Heaven’s rules, when he was just a soldier with a mission.

Now, he felt so much he thought Dean could see his heart beating out of his chest, fighting to get closer. He looked at Dean, expecting to see him raging and furious, but all he saw was a kind expression on the hunter’s face, who obviously had it all figured out.

“I don't want your pity, Dean.”

“Well, and I don't want you to go.” Cas realized that Dean wasn't pitying him, he was pleading, something he didn't do, ever.

“I don't want to force you to say anything, it’s not your fault I feel this way towards you”, Cas finally said, laying it all on the table. He averted his eyes from Dean’s, only to realize that the hunter was watching him intently.

“Then it’s not my fault either if I feel the same” Dean’s cheeks reddened and he looked down as Cas’ eyes opened wide with surprise. How could this be possible?

Cas took a careful step towards Dean, ending up right in his space, and Dean inhaled sharply. Cas slowly traced his fingertips down the back of the hunter’s hand, lacing their fingers together. Dean was still avoiding his eyes, flustered and blushing, but Cas kept studying his face, committing every detail to memory. Cas then brought Dean’s hand to his lips and started trailing kisses all along his left arm, feeling the salty taste of his skin. The tenderness with which he did it and the love it conveyed made tears pool in Dean’s eyes. Sweet nothings like “you are my home” and “I belong with you” were quietly whispered between slow kisses. When Cas grazed the handprint with his lips, the tears Dean was holding back started to run free down his cheeks. He took a deep breath, looking at Cas with awe as his fingers started softly combing through his hair. Cas’ lips connected with his neck, and then his jaw and his cheek. Dean tilted his head back and breathed quickly and erratically as the feelings surrounded and overwhelmed him. When Cas’ nose was so close to touch his own, he opened his eyes and grasped Cas’ face to keep him right where he was. Their lips drew slowly closer and when they brushed together, mingling their breaths, all the air was gone from Dean’s lungs. He felt his own heart beating fast, and he couldn't find it in himself to care about anything else as he blindly searched for Cas’ lips again.


End file.
